The Not There Superbowl Re-Cap

1st Quarter: Ravens get high on deer antler spray, dominate and take all the momentum. Hologram patches work & Kaepernick is shaky.

2nd Quarter: Joe Flacco  spends the 2nd Quarter swimming in Scrooge McDuck’s Money Pit. He is now very, very rich.

Halftime Bonus: Beyonce can’t sing, should have lip synced.

3rd Quarter: Power failure, lights out. Deer Antler Spray Magic runs out during the delay. Good Kaepernick returns, 49ers have a chance.

4th Quarter: VD drops the ball, Kaepernick rattled, Stabby Stabber Lewis gets another trophy while Ed Reed looks very stoned. Flacco = rich.

Degenerate Gambler Bonus: Elective Safety makes casinos 78 billion dollars as most popular prop bet bites everyone in the ass. Flacco, in an attempt to win hearts & minds, covers everyone’s losses.

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