Monthly Archives: February 2013

Functional Impurity

When the guys at Bell Labs were fooling around and coming up with semiconductors that worked they discovered that impurity was necessary. In order to get the best results, they had to add a trace of boron to the silicon.

Music needs impurities too. The gravelly tone of a singer’s voice, the slightly out of tune guitar or the out of phase sample. Music needs humanity. Without impurities, the music isn’t alive.

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Filed under Ideas, Music

Dirty Girlz Live

In China, Watch it Here

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Filed under China, Music, Not There

Everything Sucked: the 2013 Not There Superbowl Advertising Re-Cap

There were no highlights this year. It is 2 days later and I remember nothing. I work in advertising. I was watching the commercials as intently as the game (because I hate both the 49ers and the Ravens) and TAKING NOTES.Without my notes, I wouldn’t be able to write this.

This year’s Superbowl spam reeked of too big budgets, committees choked with fear and the lunatic hopes of dopey executives dry humping last year’s memes desperately to create VIRALITY (like on twitter).

There was nothing social. There were no real insights driving the ads. There was a chubby guy and a super model sucking face and preying on our basest emotions–revulsion and disgust–in order to sell domain names. The shit has hit the fan and been chopped into tiny little shit particles when the domain name ads are more disgusting than the beer ads.

On the plus side, there was that tweet about the cookie. Well done Oreo, well done. Dunk in the dark? Why the hell not.

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Filed under Marketing

The Not There Superbowl Re-Cap

1st Quarter: Ravens get high on deer antler spray, dominate and take all the momentum. Hologram patches work & Kaepernick is shaky.

2nd Quarter: Joe Flacco  spends the 2nd Quarter swimming in Scrooge McDuck’s Money Pit. He is now very, very rich.

Halftime Bonus: Beyonce can’t sing, should have lip synced.

3rd Quarter: Power failure, lights out. Deer Antler Spray Magic runs out during the delay. Good Kaepernick returns, 49ers have a chance.

4th Quarter: VD drops the ball, Kaepernick rattled, Stabby Stabber Lewis gets another trophy while Ed Reed looks very stoned. Flacco = rich.

Degenerate Gambler Bonus: Elective Safety makes casinos 78 billion dollars as most popular prop bet bites everyone in the ass. Flacco, in an attempt to win hearts & minds, covers everyone’s losses.

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Blackberry

Blackberry is a tired old man making mad scribblings while waiting in death’s antechamber.

How can you tell? All their media coverage is old media. Dead media. It’s bought and paid for by PR people. Do you know anyone excited about a new Blackberry?

Maybe they’ll sell a few units to legacy customers scared of change (but I doubt it).

At this point what makes a Blackberry special? How are they positioned? The business phone with no apps?

Goodbye blackberry, you dying lamb in winter.

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Filed under China